My client sat across from me, looking at the card she had just pulled with disgust.
It was our first time working together. She had come to me because she identified with the description of ‘complex PTSD’—a type of nervous system dysregulation often linked to repeated or long-term trauma.
As she sat across from me, I could see she was terribly uncomfortable in her skin. It was hard for her to settle, and even as she gave me a glimpse of the trauma she had experienced, she quickly skittered away from it, bypassing its depth by talking about the various therapy theories and self-help labels that explained her state—and distracted her from her embodied, present-time experience.
I understood that these frameworks were an attempt to find a grounding in the midst of the desperate chaos she felt.
They brought some measure of comfort to her mind: a map of herself that made some kind of sense.
But I could also see they were helping her avoid something.
I listened closely both to her words and the signals I was picking up. But with this as our first time working together, I didn’t yet have the entry point that would guide me in our session. So I asked her to pull a card.
She pulled The Chthonic, and to say she didn’t like it was an understatement.
She was repulsed and appalled. It dramatically stirred her out of her stupor of trauma labels and despair and actually aroused a righteous, unreserved disgust.
In that moment, I saw her.
I knew she was carrying a volcano within her: one filled with rage—and power. She had a dark energy that she was afraid of; and yet I knew it held the source of her healing and her agency.
The underworld held the key that would end her identity—and ongoing experience—of being a victim.
Not everyone sees this card as ugly and affronting.
The Chthonic feminine is sensual, erotic, and alive with movement. She is primal and Plutonian; wild and unapologetic. She is uncompromising and can only live her truth.
The world ‘chthonic’ comes from the Greek, meaning subterranean, ‘of the deep earth’, the underworld.
Carl Jung felt this was the feminine principle, the deepest layers of the psyche, instinct, the body, the primordial.
I first pronounced it ‘K-thonik’, and then read that the ‘K’ was silent: ‘Thonik’. This is how I’ve pronounced it in the audio practice today. But now that I’ve done a little digging, I see that both are used and I’m going back to that confrontational hard ‘K’ at the beginning!
You’ll also hear me stumble a little bit as I try to find the words for the Chthonic. Rather than re-record, or insist on clarity, I believe this is the instinctual, anti-intellectual nature of the Chthonic.
She’s messy, confusing (to our ordered, rational mind—certainly not to herself!), provocative.
And my client? I knew she wasn’t quite ready to unleash her volcano of power (and rage). But even so, I could be in relationship to that part of her—seeing her, as the Chthonic feminine demands—and she was able to soften and relax, putting down the defensive resistance that was sapping her power and her sovereignty—even just for a little while.
A Practice For You ~ The Chthonic Feminine
Take some time and space to connect with this potent, disruptive, primal force you carry within you. She insists on being seen and received. Then she is integrated into the ‘above ground’ world and she—you—are rewarded with ecstasy.
I’d love to hear what you experienced from this practice. Please share!
P.S. If you are feeling overwhelmed by your Chthonic feminine, cultivate your grounding practice.
It is essential for you to feel rooted in the existential stability and abiding wisdom of the Earth—who of course is Chthonic herself.
Here’s a grounding practice for you from a previous post.
Navigating your Chthonic depths is challenging and potentially destabilizing.
You don’t have to do it alone.
Highly skilled, attuned and gentle guidance allow you to unpack this powerhouse of energy, truth and vision that you carry within you.
This is the gift and service I offer.
Reach out to me if you’d like to explore working together 1:1, or to join my mastery journey offering, Ready to Bloom, now enrolling for just five women (only two spots remain!).
Awakening Your Deep Feminine
In-Person Workshop | Palo Alto, CA | 18th July | Limited to 10 women
Within a sacred circle of women, you’ll experience an empowered practice of self-touch, women’s qigong, and experiential, playful partner work, to gently awaken your desires and expand your ability to receive.
In this platonic workshop, you will learn to trust your longing, open to receiving, and hold yourself as your source of healing, safety, wholeness, and sovereignty.
Last chance to work with me in person before I return to the UK!
Location and details TBD. Join the waitlist now to hold your spot.
Such aligned timing and my life circles central Cthonica!
I immediately thought what a beautiful card - and that is a contrast to the work I did last year around snake medicine. I was repulsed most of the time!