I’m beginning to think that the most powerful and essential skillset we need is the one that helps us face the unknown.
Tolerate the unknown.
Dance with the unknown.
Create with the unknown.
Trust the unknown.
Love the unknown.
We’re so used to bringing tools of the yang to the unknown.
Action.
Pushing through.
Quantify, classify, calculate.
Figure out.
Understand.
Oh, if only they worked!
But in the end, it’s still unknowable. You’re still faced with infinity and all its potentials.
It can be hard to stay grounded and present in the face of this.
And yet this is our playground, a place our soul knows with delight and joy — and a bit of mischief thrown in.*
But our psyche, our ego, can freak out,
Making up stories.
Clinging to the ideas of limitation so we don’t get overwhelmed with joy, love, pleasure and all that is possible.
Imaginal storylines that help us feel safe, even as we rail against them.
You may be saying, “Love, joy and pleasure sound wonderful. Those are all positive feelings. It’s the the pain and suffering in myself and in the world that I feel overwhelmed by.”
What is at the root of that pain and suffering?
If you drop down underneath the layers of suffering and pain—
You will find love.
Your love for life, the world and everyone in it.
And it may feel unbearable.
So how do we bear this love, and facing the unknown?
The tools I find that work the best and that I’d like to share with you here, are, of course, tools of the yin.
They are essential for facing this vast, unknown field of potentials that we are in at every moment.
Get grounded, connected to the earth and centered in your body. The earth is the source of existential stability. Feel its gravitational pull, keeping you connected to the ground (you really can’t float away!). Come into your body as if you are a great tree, with roots interlacing down deep into the soil, finding not only stability but receiving nourishment. Feel your tree body rise up from this rooted place, available to extend your branches in all directions. . . into the unknown of the vast heavens.
Relax. Ok, that’s such an irritating direction to be given when you are struggling or genuinely terrified. What is relaxation? It is an invitation to soften and get heavy. To notice the physical support underneath you (your chair, the floor, and again, the earth) and just let yourself surrender to it, just a little bit. And as you relax and soften you can . . .
Gently expand and become more spacious. Contraction is an attempt at control and stasis, itself becoming exhausting, causing pain and, again, spinning a story that seems to have meaning and truth. Let yourself take up more space. Notice the space between your bones, your molecules, within your molecules. Notice the space around you; your field. How big does your field actually want to be? Can you let it take up its full space? Ahhhh . . . doesn’t that feel better?
Let yourself not know. Nothing needs to happen. Nothing is wrong.
Can you feel that? Can you receive that invitation for your nervous system, for your whole being? Can you feel the space for mystery, life and magic to come in when you truly take that inner position of not knowing?
This is where things get radical. It’s the opposite of quantifying, planning, and predicting based on past experience.
Follow the energy instead of resisting it. Often pain or discomfort is the resistance disguising as suffering . . . and in fact there is something stunningly beautiful trying to happen.
Be with what is. Follow the energy, the image, the feeling.
Differentiate between the old spinning stories, and drop deeper.
Wow. There’s something here.
You may even find your heart.
Or stillness.
Or just nothing.
Now you are in partnership with the mystery.
You are a dancer with the unknown.
You are vulnerably powerful.
A Practice for You
I’ve created this guided inner journey to help you step into your vulnerable power as you face the unknown.
I’d love to hear what you experience with these tools. Any “Ah ha!” moments? An unexpected discovery? A shift in your nervous system? Please share!
Love these illustrations from my Power of the Yin Oracle Deck illustrated by D. Yael Bernhard? The original paintings are available to purchase direct from the artist in person at her studio sale in the Catskills this weekend; or contact her directly to have it shipped to you.
*I’m incredibly inspired right now by the book and teaching of Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott. Highly recommend!
More for You
Two upcoming online offerings with my new partner Universal Movement
Embodying the Power of Your Yin Energy
Oct 24, 7-8:30pm/UK
Hello, Sexual Soul
Nov 6, 7-8:30pm/UK
Get all the details and see all the other beautiful course offerings here:
Work with me 1:1
Would you like support facing the unknown in your sexuality, your intimate relationships, your relationship with yourself? I can gently guide you into the realm of the subtle, the deep, the mysterious—the parts of yourself that you may fear you have lost, don't know how to access, or that you may long for but are afraid to trust. The very part of you that is the key to your full expression, thriving and pleasure in life.
Schedule a free 30-minute Soul Listening Session and let’s explore what’s possible together.